Bottom Line Inc | Learning to Ask for Help is the Key to Every Door |

Asking a question is a simple act. Yet, asking someone for help often can be overwhelming. Many prefer to suffer alone rather than risk feeling uncomfortable. 

Besides simply needing assistance, not reaching out to others—whether for information, referrals, help with a personal challenge or advice about a demanding work project—can keep you from learning new things, achieving goals and making social connections. 

This article explores the 5 myths about asking for help that stop us-

Myth #1: “I should be self-reliant.”

Myth #2: “I’ll look lazy.” 

Myth #3: “I don’t know anyone who can help me.” 

Myth #4: “People don’t want to be bothered.” 

Myth #5: “I’ll be indebted.”  

The post touches on other topics such as “How to ask successfully, What if they say “No,” and How to expand your network.

Second City Works | Getting To Yes, And... | Podcast With Wayne Baker

The Second City has produced some of the most unforgettable satire and influential comedians of the last sixty years. Its pioneering methods inspire the mindsets and behaviors that lead to rapid innovation and incomparable content. Second City Works uses those same methods to create professional development, content, and events that drive personal growth and organizational improvement.

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Host Kelly Leonard talks to Dr. Wayne Baker who teaches in the Ross School of Business at the University of Michigan about his new book "All You Have To Do Is Ask: How To Master The Important Skill for Success."

I finished your book over the weekend and happened to be listening to a podcast where they were interviewing the poet David White and he was talking about how human beings can be reluctant to ask themselves and others a beautiful question.

“It's true. People have a great reluctance to ask questions and it comes from a couple of different reasons, a couple of barriers or obstacles to asking. People are concerned that they're going to appear to be incompetent or weak or that they can't do their job. But, you know, what's interesting here is that we need to update our beliefs based on evidence from research. There was some new research done by a Harvard Wharton team and they learned that as long as you make a thoughtful request, people will think you are more competent, not less.”

And you have scientific evidence that asking people for help is a good thing.

“People want to help. And you know, when you are vulnerable, when you ask for what you need, you discover that you can be more creative and perform better at your job. Tasks are easier to do. No one is an island or completely self-reliant. When we ask for what we need, we get the inflow of resources, ideas, opportunities, referrals, connections - all sorts of things that we need to be productive.”

I found it interesting that you talk about teams needing both strong internal and external relationships to maintain health and productivity.

“Absolutely. The best teams have strong internal relationships and external relationships. So you can imagine if you don't have good internal relationships where people feel psychologically safe, to give and get help, to ask questions and to admit mistakes, that would be a problem. Some teams have that, but they work in isolation and you know, they're just one out of the whole network. Teams need input from other parts of the organization, even outside of the organization. And they do that by cultivating give and take relationships.”

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Productivityist Podcast | Wayne Baker

“Asking for help can be a real challenge – and it keep us from reaching our full potential. The conversation we have on this episode should help you get better at asking. Dr. Baker and I discuss why we need help from others to be more productive, why generosity within a company isn't the issue when it comes to developing a culture where asking is fostered, and how leaders can use certain techniques and tools to build a habit of asking in themselves and their colleagues.”

How can company leaders help cultivate a culture of generosity and nurturing the idea of asking ?

Business Insider and Wayne Baker Debunk The 2 Big Myths About Asking For Help

Science agrees you should stop being afraid to ask for help. An expert debunks 2 big myths about why people don't.

Business Insider reflects on ‘All You Have to Do Is Ask,’ by Wayne Baker in a recent article and highlights major ideas from the book.

“Asking for help is something that everyone struggles with. One way to overcome this reluctance is to understand two common beliefs about asking and then to update these beliefs based on evidence from research…”

1) We underestimate other people's willingness and ability to help
2) We perceive there to be social costs of seeking help

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The Real Challenge of Generosity | A Psychology Today Blog

Wayne Baker becomes a new Psychology Today’s columnist with the blog series ‘Master Your Success.’

His first post in this series is title ‘The Real Challenge of Generosity.’ “In every act of giving is also an act of receiving. In the workplace, people don’t ask because they dread the social costs of seeking help, or they prefer to be self-reliant…”

UM Ross, Thought In Action, Covers Insight From Baker's New Book

The University of Michigan, Ross School of Business recently interviewed Wayne Baker, author of All You Have to Do Is Ask on concepts and research from his new book. Highlights from the article are as follows:

• What does research tell us about the power of seeking help?

• How can a network of giving and receiving get us the answers or resources we need?

• Why can it be so difficult to ask for help?

• How can we change our attitude from “asking for help is a bad idea” to “asking for help is essential to success”?

• What can managers do to encourage asking for help?

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Wayne Baker Encourages You to Ask for Help on Hack the Process Podcast

A Show About Moving Mindfully From Planning Into Action

You know that one unobtainable thing you need? You might be able to get it just by asking, according to Dr. Wayne Baker. His new book, All You Have to Do is Ask, can tell you why it works and show you how to do it, based on years of research and work in the field of generalized reciprocity. In this episode of Hack the Process Dr. Baker will tell us how he structures his time to put writing at the start of his day, what surprised him about his initial research into generosity, and why it’s important to communicate the meaning of your request for help.

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Wayne Baker on Canvas Magazine's Podcast, 'Brush Strokes'

Mark Potter, host of the podcast Brush Strokes, interviews Dr. Wayne Baker about All You have to Do is Ask. In this interview Baker provides the secret to a culture of collaboration.

The Economist Publishes Expertise from Dr. Wayne Baker on Asking For Help

All You Have To Do Is Ask, Author Wayne Baker | Published Article in The Economist

Topics from the book ‘All You Have To Do Is Ask’ take center stage in The Economist Intelligence Unit “THE VALUE BETWEEN US - The role of social bonds in business success. The article and published report dive deep into the topic of asking and creating a culture of psychological safety in the workplace.

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“Social capital is not just the flow of knowledge and information.It involves the transfer of emotions and energy.”

— Dr. Wayne E. Baker

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“Firms must also fight reluctance to seek help. “People fear being perceived as incompetent, weak or lazy,” says Mr Baker, but the opposite is true. If you make an intelligent request, people will perceive you to be more competent.

One tactic is to implement structures that normalize the process of asking—and giving—such as a “reciprocity ring”. This is a group exercise in which individuals request help on specific issues, and other participants commit to tap their knowledge, wisdom or networks. It can be a one-time exercise or a regular, structured process. Another example is a “daily stand-up” in which employees say what they are working on and where they need help. “A manager who institutes these is creating conditions by which people will create and use social capital. Over time, as they see it work, people will ask for bigger things.”

— Dr. Wayne E. Baker

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Wayne Baker on NetWorkWise Podcast with Adam Connors

“Reciprocity is Generosity”

Dr. Wayne Baker examines Reciprocity and Generosity in the workplace in his latest interview with Adam Connors, the host of NetWorkWise podcast series.

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Harvard Students Learn to Give and Take

The Harbus News relays story about the 2019 MBA Program kick-off featuring a new addition for first year MBA students - Reciprocity Rings. The Reciprocity Ring is one of the tools featured in ‘All You Have To Do Is Ask.’ The Harvard MBA program took on the exercise to build high-quality connections between students during the second day of class. Harvard MBAs found the Reciprocity Ring to be beneficial not only for getting help themselves, but also for getting to know new classmates. “It was an interesting psychological bridge-building exercise. You learn a lot about people, not just based on where they worked or are from, but on what they request. Their request speaks to their personality or the types of hobbies that they would like to bring to campus.”

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